Munich

November 9, 1934


Caution: Adolf Hitler was completely wrong about absolutely everything...usually. When Hitler said something that was actually correct, it was merely to set up the next lie. As with all good propagandists—and he certainly was that—he would begin with a few obvious, documented facts, and then proceed to distort them horribly. At any rate, the infamous German Führer’s worm-tongue rhetoric is NOT to be taken seriously, except as a classic example of the sort of masterful demagoguery from which appropriate lessons may hopefully be learned.

As always, read with an abundant degree of cautious skepticism.

National Socialists!

Deeply stirred, we stand here again today on this square. It is a reminder of our Movement's first dead, and it is a symbolic act that the swearing-in of the Party's recruits takes place on this square. This square of death thus becomes a place for swearing oaths in life. And we could conduct no fairer commemoration celebration at this site at which our comrades once gave their lives than the swearing-in of those who once again dedicate themselves to their work as the youth of Germany.

You shall, I know, be just as loyal, just as brave as our old comrades! And you will have to be fighters! For there are still many, many opponents of our movement in Germany. They do not want Germany to be strong. They do not want our Volk to be united. They do not want our Volk to defend its honor. They do not want our Volk to be free. They may not want it, but we want it, and our Will will defeat them!

And your Will shall be with us, and you shall contribute to preserving and immortalizing the will of that earlier time. We shall make even these last few bend under this will. We shall ensure that the times which once required these sacrifices will never again, within human power, return in Germany! . . . .

Today the Party is by no means at the end of its mission, but at the very beginning! It is now in its youth. And thus you, my German Youth, are not entering something foreign; rather, youth is joining the Movement of youth, and this movement of youth thus welcomes you as one of its own. You have the task of doing your share to fulfill what your elders once hoped for. I am confident in you, confident that you who have already grown up and come into being in the spirit of the new Germany will fulfill this task, and that you will bear in mind our old principle: that it is not important that a single one of us lives, but vital that Germany lives!

Fuehrer Adolf Hitler <—Meh! What an insufferable bore.

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Hitler and Göring were arguing about the Jews, with Göring stating that they were quite clever people and Hitler vehemently denying they were any such thing. Finally Göring told Hitler that they should go shopping in Berlin and Göring would show Hitler it was true. Hitler agreed, so they disguised themselves and went out on the street.

Göring took Hitler into a shop, went up to the counter, and asked the clerk: "Do you have any left-handed teacups?" The clerk stared at Göring for a moment and then said no, mein herr, I do not.

The two left with Hitler complaining that he did not understand what the point of this was and Göring telling him to be patient. They went to another shop and Göring gave the same act: "Do you have any left-handed teacups?" The clerk stared and shrugged his shoulders.

They left with Hitler becoming incensed over this nonsense and Göring begging for patience. Finally they went into a Jewish shop; Göring again asked the clerk: "Do you have any left-handed teacups?"

The clerk smiled graciously, went into the back room and made a show of rummaging around, brought out a saucer and teacup, set down the saucer, and carefully placed the cup with the handle pointed so Göring could pick it with his left hand. "There you are, mein herr!" the clerk said.

Göring bought the teacup, thanked the clerk, and the two men left. Göring turned to Hitler and said: "See, I told you the Jews were very clever people."

"I don't see what was so clever about that," Hitler snapped. "He just happened to have one in stock!"


 
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